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A few days ago, I bought a new book about babies. Maybe I am a bit obsessed about Elijah! You would think that at 9 1/2 months I would’ve sussed him out already in terms of what he likes and what he doesn’t. Well, I know some and the other some I don’t. I already have a book I bought when I was at a crisis where he was not sleeping well – that was 5 months ago. That book was great in terms of her philosophy about respecting my baby. It’s not about giving in to every whimp he wants to be fed or picked up or to play with. It taught me that I needed to guide him and not just telling him what to do. I also learnt to prepare him for what was to come with some cues – whether its time to take a bathe, eat or sleep. Naturally, I think if they were not told babies are very smart to figure it out just by observation alone. But me talking to him gives me a sense of him really being in my life and not just a baby I have to take care of.

Well, so why would I bother buying another book? Since observing him and taking some action through what the book taught me he is generally quite easy to look after. He plays quite well independantly if given the right kind of stimulation, goes to sleep without much crying or fuss ( more like babbling and laughing in bed then finally drops off ), eats quite well but sometimes does fuss a bit. Therefore I do have some time to myself to relax. But something was still amiss – although our days are pretty good, after he goes to sleep at night he would be quite restless. Some days it would be tossing and turning for a long time in bed and when he is unable to settle himself he would then fuss and then cry out. Sometimes I do need to help him resettle but most times I don’t. Maybe most parents would be happy with this as really on an average, I would need to get out of bed to settle him once a night for 1 or 2 nights in a week. ( I pharmacist told me yesterday he first baby was waking up every 3 hours EVERY night till he was 18 months!! ) But I can’t help but find that this transitional period ( where they might be on the way to one nap a day ) he has with his nap times/ awake times during the day I just can’t put my finger on it yet. So if there was something to help him sleep at night better, I would gladly do.

So, here’s hoping that this new book would help me unlock what it is he needs.Fingers crossed!

Update:  Since starting on a new routine from this book- I’ve not needed to settle him anymore for any nightwakings due to too much sleep/too little sleep etc. [ Dream Baby Guide by Sheyne Rowley ]

Baby routine at 8 months

Alright, quickly I just want to write down the routine I’m having with Elijah at 8 months so I can refer to it next time ( maybe if I have a second child? ). Like I said, we went through some rubbish nights for about 6-8 weeks. He was fine throughout the day or so I thought, but after bedtime he woke up many times. As many as every hour on some nights and cries out for a short while then puts himself back to sleep. At times he can’t and needed physical intervening. I felt so sad for him. It was still alright for me to wake up every hour when he woke up, but for him it meant he was not well rested at all. So I decided to look at his entire day and reexamine what was the matter. I reread my “Baby Whisperer” book.  I think I kept him up way too long causing him to be too overstimulated. I also thought he was moving to one nap.. but he was only 8 months! ( Although some babies do well )

So a reminder to myself is to go back to the drawing board when things just go awry.

Wakeup + breasfeed : 6:45am (Activity time 3h 5min – 3h 15min)

Breakfast – 8:00am -ish

Nap : 9:50am -ish (45mins-1 hour)

Wakeup : 10:50am (Activity time 3h 25min – 3 h 30min)

Bottlefeed – 11:00am -ish, Lunch – 12:30 pm-ish,  1st half of split breastfeed 1:45pm-ish

Nap : 2:15am ( usually 2 hrs, sometimes 1h 30mins)

Wakeup : 4:00pm

2nd half of split breastfeed 4:00pm, Dinner 4:45pm-ish, last bottlefeed before bedtime

Bedtime : 7:00pm

Dreamfeed : 9:30pm.. working towards eliminating

This gives a 11hr 45min night and a 12 hr 15min day. A far less cranky baby by day and few nightwakings with this. If any most times puts himself back to sleep after 2-3mins. Yay!

A few Elijah moments

Every night after Elijah goes to bed, I finally find myself some time. Somehow though, that time goes too quickly and I am tired by 9pm and I feel I just need to shut down and retire for the night. I have so many things I want to write about but it’s either I get distracted or I find that there are better things to do. I find I am unable to do any writing in the day whilst taking care of him – I have not learnt to art of putting myself in my own space for just a little while. I think I will need to find a solution to “tune-out”.

Alright, I think I’ll start now. Joel’s asleep now – he has been since 7:10pm. I bet this is because I handed Elijah to him for half a day !

So where am I right now? I’ve been a mummy now for 8 months. You know what, this parenting thing is has its Elijah moments. Like more recently we went through a period of rubbish nights ( from sleeping through!! ). Oh boy was it a torture. Thankfully, that’s turned around quite a bit .. but now he’s decided to practice rolling over in bed , wakes himself up and has to call out to us. If we don’t turn him back he will fall asleep again but wake in his next sleep cycle again.  On one hand it’s fustrating that it happens at night , on the other hand at least he can now roll over ( only tummy to back though! ) and amuse himself a little more. There’s also the time he sat independantly. Brilliant moment for me. Why? I don’t have to sit with him anymore when he has his own play time! More recently I discovered he is actually amused when I use the little nose “sucker”. Whenever I insert it into his nostril and suck out, he laughs. Hehe, who knew that would make him laugh. He is also SO amused by Toby our dog. Just today, Joel sat him on the Bumbo seat on the floor so he could look at Toby walking and sniffing around.. he was delighted and very distracted that I think he just didn’t feel tired at his usual nap time it seemed as though he would not want to sleep. However when I took him to the room he was fussy and knocked out quickly. There’s also him pulling a face with new foods. Bananas, apples, chicken, oats. But gets used to them fairly quickly and doesn’t reject them. I haven’t given him any ready made bottle food, so I don’t know how he’ll do with them. He’s vocal repertoire has expanded he also practices them just before going to bed.

There are so many Elijah moments I wish I could collect them, keep them in a jar to be opened again later.

* Yay! I just did my “tune-out” session. Well, kinda – I was  a bit distracted with his stirring in bed just a while ago. *

Until the next time.

A usual day with Elijah at 6 months

Wow Elijah you’re six months +! How time has passed. Time for me to get this blog going again (maybe). It’s been a great big change for me being a mum and a parent – all for the better I suppose. I’m glad now I have more time to myself now that he is a bit “older” – a weeee bit older. I guess that’s why I am back here and hopefully I can update this space more. In a way I guess this blog serves as a reminder of what has gone by.

So where am I now? Well, I have to say I am a happy mother and enjoying this time in my life. No doubt being a parent has many challenges – so much has to be put aside; most especially time for myself. Sometimes I wonder what I get done in a day – so what DO I do in a day now that he is six months? He changes so much but for now the day seems more predictable.

He wakes anytime from 6:15am -7:00am.For the past week it’s been about 6:45 ish am – yay! It’s funny how 10minutes of difference is huge in my world now… I breastfeed him, “ask” him to burp and do a poo “ngg ngg” . Then it’s nappy change time so I wake daddy up for this (heh heh) whilst I prep breakfast for both adults. By this time Elijah’s in fresh nappies and having a look at our backyard in our room. Joel and I joke that it is as though he lives like a retiree – having a relaxing time after breakfast looking at the scenery with no other cares in the world. Joel and I have breakfast in our room (!) then I prep Elijah’s “breakfast” (currently the menu is pureed avocado and breastmilk and the “special of the day” is pureed boiled pumpkin and breastmilk. He enjoys his “meals” and has never looked back since he started at about 5months. We then play, sing songs and read books.

He starts getting cranky about 9:00am and then goes to bed about 9:15-9:30am. When he is tired he gets cranky and starts scratching his ears. He occasionally does a twitch with his head and eyes, and needs to either suck his fingers or my clothes to comfort himself to sleep. Thankfully naptimes and bedtime for him are not a huge battle for him or me. I then have a little time to sit down, wash the dishes and check Facebook and email.

He wakes up from sleep usually after about 1 hr and a half, looks around his cot and has a bit of a chat to himself. I leave him for a bit on his own and about 11:00ish give him his botttle of formula. Then it’s nappy change time again and then I put him in his exersaucer ( we recently hired ) and he happily entertains himself. I get to sit down and have my morning coffee time for about half an hour. [ Funnily today he fell asleep in the exersaucer bouncing up and down and nodding off... ?!! I suspect him bouncing his legs may be the start of some self-soothing as he does this in bed too before sleeping ]

1:00 ish means he’s getting slight cranky again.  Sometimes we are out shopping, at church, having lunch or at my “mothers’ group so he slowly nods off in the car when we are travelling home and I transfer him to bed. He seems to be okay with this and continues sleeping. During this period I plan for dinner, have a sit down, have lunch, maybe do some dishes again, and seemingly endless tasks of cleaning. At 2:45 -3:00 ish pm he wakes from nap and gets a breastfeed. Somehow his afternoon nap is different. He wakes up after 40mins, fusses around and I have to intervene and pat him to sleep more – sometimes he can go back to sleep sometimes he can’t or he fusses for 20minutes or so then puts himself back to sleep without my help or sleeps right through without problems. Perhaps I  just haven’t got the right amount of activity time for him. I am not sure why – it’s the same whether we’re having a day out of in.

He has more food at about 4:00pm.  After that he plays a little, then sometimes we go for a stroll just him and me, and sometimes with our dog Toby. Depending on the day if he has not had a good nap he gets cranky and naps again about 5:00ish pm. At 5:45-6:00ish is his bathtime. Joel is sometimes around so he bathes him whilst I cook dinner. Elijah enjoys his bathtime but dislikes getting dried and dressed for bed. We’ve tried lots of things – turning the heater on, singing, amusing him but he keeps whinging until he gets all dressed for bedtime! Maybe he wants to stay in the bathtub longer…

Then it’s bedtime story and singing, his bottle and nighty-nite at about 6:45-7:00pm. Joel and I can now put our feet up and have dinner whilst watching TV. At 11:00pm Elijah has his “dreamfeed” and his and my day starts again the next morning.

So really in a day I feed Elijah, change his diaper, have some activity time then put him to bed and the routine starts all over again, and again, and again, day in day out. I still have some time to myself but quite a bit of it is actually doing things for him too – cleaning his little tupperwares for stored milk,  making puree, sometimes learning nursery rhymes!!, folding some clothes ( although Joel does most of it ), etc etc. Yes, it does get a bit boring and of course I understand why mums do just want some adult conversation or something different to do. But when I look at this little baby – well I have to keep reminding myself that these seemingly mindless “tasks” may be mundane but they serve to nurture him and there will be a day he will be independant.  And thankfully – yes thankfully he started sleeping through the night since he was 5 months ( with some bumps here and there like a few days ago… maybe a growth spurt? ) so I am no longer sleep deprived and perhaps now I don’t have an excuse to stay in my PJs the whole day

To my mum – Thank you for taking care of me.

Labour abridged version

This is such a late post! Baby remember, of course comes before blog (even alphabetically) and although at times I may have time to write, I choose to either sleep, rest or at least clean my house a bit. Anyway, this is the story of my labour. It’s not a fairytale

So much has changed in my family life with Elijah arriving. I feel I have plenty to tell but little to speak about. I’m no expert in “motherhood”. So today I will tell about my labour in abridged version. Perhaps most mothers do not like to talk about their experience of labour because it was traumatic or not quite what they had expected – for me it was an experience to remember not in a pleasant way but because it has become something I rejoice that God has been so gracious to me.

My estimated due date (EDD) was the 21st of February 2010. On that early morning perhaps about 02:30 AM  I remember being somewhat cross with my husband as he was still up so late with his computer as usual (arghgh! ) therefore I went to bed feeling upset but I decided to read a book to distract myself. A little while later I heard a loud ( yes loud! ) POP and a mild pain in my abdomen – did I position myself in such an awkward way that I had hurt Elijah whilst he was still in the womb? ( I know it sounds crazy but being pregnant I can have odd thoughts ) So I whipped my stethescope out and there it was his heartbeat still beating normally. Then of course it hit me – the most likely event was my waters had broken. So I checked and yup it looks like it had. I got my husband who got the hospital, told my parents who were around and off we went with our bags.

In the car, I felt some mild contractions. They felt like period cramps. We arrived about 03:20 AM at the hospital and by then the contractions were more painful and closer together. At 0:500 AM I was about 4cm, fully effaced and was offered to use gas and also to have an epidural. The period cramps had now progressed to a really bad stomachache. The gas did its job wonderfully but I couldn’t decide if I wanted the epidural. Thankfully husband and I had discussed this during the last trimester and I had decided then to have it as I did not want to be stressed out with pain in the 2nd stage of labour. So he became my advocate and said Yes for me.

The anasthetist arrived late at 05:50AM. The midwife had offered to do an examination before having the epidural as she could see I was wanting to push but me being a stubborn person refused (in case I couldn’t get the epidural as I might be fully) and told the anaesthetist as best as I could to do  his job. The examination right after that at about 06:00AM confirmed I was indeed fully dilated! So I got my epidural being fully dilated – hahaha. Did it help ? Yes although not completely.

I was told to push but I didn’t want to as I didn’t think there was any hurry and wanted the contractions to do their work by themselves. I also informed the midwife I wanted to push lying on my left side but she told me I couldn’t as it wouldn’t work. I was cross with her because this was the same midwife I had for my antenatal classes who clearly stated we could  in any position we wanted (lying/squatting/standing) and also because when I did try pushing on my back I felt I couldn’t do it as effectively. And I kept telling her that but she kept telling me otherwise. To make things worse she and another midwife kept telling me when my obstetrician comes he would be wanting to put up the oxytocin drip to increase my contractions as they seemed less effective with the epidural in. I actually couldn’t believe my ears as I was quite sure he wouldn’t do it – this was only at most twenty minutes after the epidural. Were they trying to scare me so that I would push? Anyway, they left me and husband in the room and at the end I shouted at him to call for them urgently at the end because I knew myself that in a few pushes I would be delivering. Sigh – my husband felt they were little help, especially for him. They were not around to help him help me. I don’t blame him – a midwife should be there as much as possible during the 2nd stage no matter how long it takes; it only takes a  few moments for things to drastically change for mother, baby or even husband. For me, I felt they just wanted to finish their job as quickly as they could; and they were not even having a busy night. I must have been on their gossip plate that morning as the postnatal nurse said they thought I could have laboured faster. Whatever for? I was not going for a gold medal.

Elijah was delivered after and estimated 4 hours and 38 minutes , with my torso lying left lateral as I wanted and I did not get any oxytocin. He screamed right when he was out and Joel got to cut the umbilical cord I was so exhausted after I had to remind myself to breath.

My thanks to my obstetrician, I’m happy I was referred to him. I have to say I think the Epi-No device I used to help minimise traumas to the perineum did help me. ( more so for the pushing sensation )

Yes – I was not pleased at all with the midwifery staff for me. Quite a few friends themselves have had unpleasant experiences, however this is not to say that they are all “mean”. I have worked with many other midwives who are excellent. Anyhow, looking back, I’m really glad I discussed the decision to have the epidural with my husband as I think I probably wouldn’t have gone through the 2nd stage of labour well without it.

Anyhow my emotions aside, statistically

(1) about 5% of babies arrive on their EDD.

(2) about 10% of women in term pregnancies break their waters before contractions

(3) few primigravids deliver in such a short time of less than 5 hours. The average as was quoted to me is 12 hours.

Elijah and I fall into this very narrow statistical category. Not just one, but all three of them. This is why I rejoice and say God has been gracious to me. I could have had a normal labour or even a complicated one, but he gave me better with such a short labour time and the arrival of our baby just right on time.